When Drew and I were trying to figure out where we should move (a process that took a few months) one of the things I thought about was, if I had only a year left to live, where would I want to be?
It was a question about where I felt I could make the biggest difference, where would not necessarily be the safe option, but the BIGGEST, the most impactful.
Making the decision to move here was basically deciding to take my Savior’s hand and jump.
I am generally quite a cautious person. I want to be safe, I want to be prepared… I want to know what’s coming. Moving here meant letting those things go – learning how to trust.
And now, since the move, I’ve had some difficulty trying to find my footing. I’ve been so cautious about every step that I haven’t taken any – not any real ones.
If you are going to take a huge step, relying on God instead of yourself, you need to be able to keep doing so… Not take a big step and then be paralyzed.
My theory is that since taking the step to move to the unknown (unknown future, unknown income etc) took so much out of me, I’ve been afraid to do anything since, let alone do any more jumping.
I’ve realised, however, that I don’t want to be paralyzed anymore. I want to keep jumping. I want to pursue the work I’m destined to do whole-heartedly.
I’ve got 10 months left (figuratively). It’s time to get moving.
May God be with me and direct me… May I give him my all, not a millimetre less.